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An Open Letter: Don’t Touch My Child’s Hair!

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Dear Stranger,


I don’t know you. And I would assume that since I don’t know you, you don’t know me either. Anyways, I’m writing this open letter to you with the hopes that we can come to some sort of an understanding. You see, the other day, while I was out shopping with my beloved, my little brown baby, you violated her personal space, when you touched her hair without her permission.


Don’t get me wrong, we appreciate your compliments and general interest in her luscious locks. The way her hair grows out of her hair and zig zags down her cute little face. I totally get it. Natural hair is, well… mesmerizing! As a naturalista myself, I’ve been accustomed to strangers having at my hair, and let me tell you, it doesn’t feel good to me as an adult. So why would this feel good to a child? Aren’t we constantly telling our children that it’s not okay for adults to touch them inappropriately? We really must learn to honor and respect children’s boundaries. It’s unfair to invade their space, simply because they’re not old enough to speak up and defend themselves.


How would you feel if I walked up to you and starting fisting into your hair? Would you not feel violated? What if I decided you had the most beautiful skin I had ever seen. And I decided to fulfill my curiosity by running my hands all over your face and body, just so I can feel your skin? That sounds ridiculous right? I mean, you have no idea where my hands have been. Can you imagine the germs all over my fingers? Yuck! Trust me, the same dialogue is running through my mind, when you are digging through my child’s hair.


At this point, you should know how my child and I feel. But if you still don’t get it, let me explain further. You see, Mr./Ms. Stranger With No Manners, it takes a certain amount of time to style the lovely mane that my dear natural has. Natural hair is kind of finicky. Once the curls are set, any sort of manipulation can totally ruin the style. And yes, you digging, twirling, exploring in my child’s hair, can totally ruin it. And needless to say, this turns into a very bad hair day, which leaves me the mommy, very unhappy. I beg you, please don’t ruin my hard work!


Just so you know, I will be teaching my child to speak up for herself. So please don’t think that it’s rude. I’ve encouraged her to voice how they feel, and for them to respectfully tell people not to touch her hair, if she’s not feeling it. I will lead by example and so we hope that you can respect that.


Now that we’ve made niceties, I’m going to cut right to the chase. The reality is, it’s just out and out rude! Our children are not sideshow freak shows, animals, or anything of the sort. They are not here for your personal amusement. So I’m kindly telling you, do not touch my child’s hair…ever. Got it?


Signed, One Pissed Off Parent

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